Tom's Blog on Life

I found this delightful story online and want to share it. It’s from a woman in California: My husband did not want children, DID NOT WANT. I couldn’t have children. A marriage made in heaven. About three years into the marriage, my brother and his wife were killed, leaving a toddler and an infant. I spent the next four days comforting my parents, making funeral arrangements and planning a funeral. My husband spent those four days dealing with the fact that there were two kids that were looking at foster care. He tried to find a way out of the situation. He didn’t want to be a parent. DID NOT WANT. We never discussed the kids because we were dealing with arrangements. We were driving back to my parents’ house after the funeral and he essentially said “So we are going to be parents.” I was shocked, the fate of the kids had never come up. My response was something like “But you don’t want kids.” His response was “I love you, you would not be happy if the kids went to foster care, I want you to be happy, I will do anything for you to be happy.” To be honest, I was almost as grudging as he was, because we had plans and they didn’t include children. But he was right, I wouldn’t be happy if the kids were raised in foster care. So we became parents. Two years later we adopted both kids. My husband—who didn’t want children—spent the next roughly 18 years as the best and most devoted father I have ever met. When the kids were about seven and nine, one day I asked him why he had been so hands-on and devoted. His response was “It is a gift to you— at least it started out that way. Now I love them for themselves.” It blew my mind that he gave up or delayed his dreams and plans just to make me happy and that he did so without sulking without complaining. He was patient, devoted and kind to the children and he did it as a gift to me. Who the hell needs presents, flowers or candlelit dinners?

With the depletion of the earth’s topsoil this is a very worth while change!