Did you ever wonder why there are no dead penguins on the ice in Antarctica?
Where do they go?
Wonder no more!
It is a known fact that the penguin is a very ritualistic bird which lives an extremely ordered and complex life. The penguin is very committed to its family and will mate for life, as well as maintain a form of compassionate contact with its offspring throughout its life.
If a penguin is found dead on the ice surface, other members of the family and social circle have been known to dig holes in the ice, using their vestigial wings and beaks, until the hole is deep enough for the dead bird to be rolled into, and buried.
The male penguins then gather in a circle around the fresh grave and sing:
“Freeze a jolly good fellow,
Freeze a jolly good fellow.”
You really didn’t believe that I know anything about penguins, did you?
A group of 12 women were at a seminar on how to live in a loving relationship with their husbands. The women were asked, “How many of you love your husband?” All the women raised their hands.
Then they were asked, “When was the last time you told your husband you loved him?” Some women answered today, a few yesterday, and some couldn’t remember.
The women were then told to take out their cell phones and text their husband “I love you, sweetheart.”
Next the women were instructed to exchange phones with another woman and read aloud the text message they received in response to their message.
Below are the 12 actual replies from their husbands. If you have been married for quite a while, you understand that these replies are a sign of true love. Who else would reply in such a succinct and honest way?
Who the hell is this?
Hey, mother of my children, are you sick or what?
Yeah, and I love you too. ….. What’s wrong?
What now? Did you wreck the car again?
I don’t understand what you mean?
What the hell did you do now?
Are you sure this is for me?
Don’t beat about the bush, just tell me how much you need?
Am I dreaming?
If you don’t tell me who this message is actually for, someone will die
I thought we agreed you wouldn’t drink during the day.