1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men’s used size 14-16 work boots.
2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of ‘Guns & Ammo’ Magazine.
3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.
4. Leave a note on your door that reads:
Hey Blue,
We’ve gone for more ammo and beer. Be back in an hour. Don’t
mess with the pit bulls; they attacked the mailman this morning
and messed him up real bad. I don’t think Killer took part, but it
was hard to tell from all the blood.
Anyway, I locked all four of ’em in the house.
Better wait outside. Be right back.
Cheers,
Wacka