FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE PETS, THIS IS A TRUE STORY.
FOR THOSE THAT DON’T, IT IS A TRUE STORY.
The following was found posted very low on a refrigerator door.
Dear Dogs and Cats:
The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food.
The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Racing me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn’t help because I fall faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. However, do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out on the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.
For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom! If, by some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge in an attempt to open the door. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years, canine/feline attendance is not required.
The proper order for kissing is: Kiss me first, then go smell the other dog or cat’s butt. I cannot stress this enough.
Finally, in fairness, dear pets, I have posted the following message on the front door:
TO ALL NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT AND LIKE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR PETS:
(1) They live here. You don’t.
(2) If you don’t want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. That’s why they call it ‘fur’-niture..
(3) I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
(4) To you, they are animals. To me, they are adopted sons/daughters who are short, hairy, walk on all fours and don’t speak clearly.
Remember, dogs and cats are better than kids because they:
(1) eat less,
(2) don’t ask for money all the time,
(3) are easier to train,
(4) normally come when called,
(5) never ask to drive the car,
(6) don’t smoke or drink,
(7) don’t want to wear your clothes,
(8) don’t have to buy the latest fashions,
(9) don’t need a gazillion dollars for college
AND!
(10) if they get pregnant, you can sell their children….
I am told they no longer teach breathing techniques in pre-natal classes.
Just insanity to get more girls to take drugs during childbirth. If you know anyone who is pregnant, suggest they get a qualified mid-wife to teach them how to breathe through contractions.
Your Credit Rating
It is advisable to check your credit rating on a regular basis and ensure there has been no fraudulent activity. Simply making enquiries with different lenders (without lodging an application) may show on your report. This could impact your credit rating and lenders may perceive you as a credit risk. In addition, defaults, unpaid accounts and late payment of bills remain on your credit history for five years.
If you know anyone with Dementia or Alzheimer's Disease…
Recent clinical trials on a natural flower extract establish that it can halt dementia and rejuvenate cognitive function.
This extract derived from the snowdrop, daffodil and spider lily has been traditionally used in Eastern Europe to treat a variety of ailments.
But latest research has shown its greatest promise lies with its beneficial effects for people suffering Alzheimer’s disease and dementia.
Researchers found that this natural extract works by blocking the action of cholinesterase – allowing for greater levels of acetylcholine – and boosts the production of new acetylcholine neurotransmitters in the brain.
And that means it has powerful potential to slow cognitive decline to a virtual standstill.
Thinking of Going Solar?
Choice recently asked the Alternative Technology Association to calculate approximate “payback times” for a 1.5kW solar system in each state. The verdict is anything from five to forty-five years, depending on where you live.
Business Wisdom
The man who took watch manufacturing back from the Japanese for the Swiss. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JtHPiZGLTmE
Change Your Desktop Image
To change the image on your Windows desktop, right mouse click a blank area of the desktop, choose Properties, click the tab Desktop and choose an image from your hard drive then click the button [Apply].
Dr Mercola posted a health tip
“Before taking any medication, ask yourself this fundamental question: do the benefits outweigh the risks?”
I thought of another you could ask, “Is there a food or herb that has the same or a similar action WITHOUT the down sides?” Or yet another, even better one, “What lifestyle change would I have to effect to not have the problem?” OR you could even go the whole hog and ask, “Am I willing to sacrifice my money and potentially my life to drug side effects by giving drug companies control over my health, or lack of it, or am I prepared to take responsibility for my own health and educate myself and alter my lifestyle to attain optimal health?”
I know, pretty heavy.
But you know what?
The people you leave behind think that your premature death is pretty heavy too.
Your call.
Still drinking fizzy drinks?
Remarkable and tragic how psychologists continue to confess their crimes in public yet still maintain their funding!
“At this time we do not have a diagnostic test for ADHD. Therefore the validity of the disorder continues to be a problem.” I’ll say it’s a problem. It’s a complete and utter fraud! That’s how much of a problem it is.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lDWP37mysBc&feature=player_embedded