For if you have a teenage boy who does not want to eat his greens…
How To Install A Home Security System
1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men’s used size 14-16 work boots.
2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of ‘Guns & Ammo’ Magazine.
3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.
4. Leave a note on your door that reads:
Hey Blue,
We’ve gone for more ammo and beer. Be back in an hour. Don’t
mess with the pit bulls; they attacked the mailman this morning
and messed him up real bad. I don’t think Killer took part, but it
was hard to tell from all the blood.
Anyway, I locked all four of ’em in the house.
Better wait outside. Be right back.
Cheers,
Wacka
Constipation Solution
A photo caption contest was held for this photograph… …and this is the caption that won the first prize. Look carefully in the background.
Retirement Home Calendar
The Contilia Retirement Group in Essen, Germany, made what is probably the best calendar ever with a few of their seniors.
According to German press, 5000 calendars were printed. And they were given out to residents of the Senior Centre, along with relatives and staff.
The calendar models were interviewed about the project and said it was a ton of fun to dress up as their favorite actors.
The shoot was done with professional stylists and photographers to make sure everything looked as cool as possible.
The oldest senior involved with the calendar was 98 years OLD!
January – James Bond
Wilhelm Buiting, 89
February – Breakfast at Tiffanys
Marianne Brunsbach, 86
March – Titanic
Erna Rütt, 86, and Alfred Kelbch, 81
April – Rocky
Erwin J von der Heiden, 80
May – Mary Poppins
Erna Schenk, 78
June – Seven Year Itch
Ingeborg Giolbass, 84, and Erich Endlein, 88
July – Blues Brothers
Lothar Wischnewski, 76 and Margarete Schmidt, 77
August – Cabaret
Martha Bajohr, 77
September – Giant
Joanna Trachenberg, 81 and Horst Krischat, 78
October – Saturday Night Fever
Irmgard Alt, 79 and Siegfried Gallasch, 87
November – Dirty Dancing
Johann Liedtke, 92 and Marianne Pape, 79
December – Easy Rider
Walter Loeser, 98 and Kurt Neuhaus, 90
Throw Another Snake On The Barby
I could have sworn Hoges said shrimp!
How Is The Project Going?
I have two project managers, a senior engineer, an IT manager, a hockey coach and four mothers in the family. They will all snicker at this. (I hope.)
Magician Chris Hannibal Delights…
…with the second oldest trick in the book.
Supermarket Food
Checking The Lawn
I am still in the USA but I am told I need to add a new job to my schedule when I return home to Sydney.
Immortality
Just found my elder daughter’s second favourite meme!