Can We Land Yet?
How Are You Still Single?
Coach Talk
At one point during a game, the coach called one of his 9-year-old baseball players aside and asked, “Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?”
“Yes, coach”, replied the little boy.
The coach continued, “Do you understand that what matters is whether we win or lose together as a team?”
The little boy nodded in the affirmative.
“So,” the coach continued, “I’m sure you know, when an out is called, you shouldn’t argue, curse the umpire, or call him an asshole. Do you understand all that?”
Again, the little boy nodded in the affirmative.
The coach continued, “And when I take you out of the game so that another boy gets a chance to play, it’s not a dumb-ass decision or that the coach is a shithead is it?”
“No, coach.”
“Good”, said the coach. “Now go over there and explain all that to your grandmother.”
Three Years Difference
When you want to black PR healthy food so you can indoctrinate people that eating bugs is better for the planet and them…
The Narrative Has Collapsed
Here’s a priceless example of the kind of madness that compliers still aren’t seeing through.
Someone asking Chat GPT if Chemtrails are real.
It responds by saying no, that’s a conspiracy theory.
I ask: if geoengineering is real. It says yes that’s a legitimate scientific study.
I ask: are Chemtrails and geoengineering the same?
It says Chemtrails are a conspiracy theory about planes spraying high altitude chemicals and toxins whereas geoengineering is a legitimate scientific study where (get ready) planes spray high altitude aerosols in an effort to block the sun and help fight climate change.
We Are Up Next
Tool Of Slave Masters
Rough Week
Hollywood Squares – Those were the days.
Q. Do female frogs croak?
A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.
Q. If you’re going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be?
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.
Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years…
A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.
Q. You’ve been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?
A. Don Knott: That’s what’s been keeping me awake.
Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to ask him if he’s married?
A. Rose Marie: No. Wait until morning.
Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.
Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking?
A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question, Peter, and I’ll give you a gesture you’ll never forget.
Q. Paul, why do Hell’s Angels wear leather?
A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.
Q. Charley, you’ve just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year?
A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I’m too busy growing strawberries.
Q. In bowling, what’s a perfect score?
A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.
Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.
Q. When you pat a dog on it’s head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do?
A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?
Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.
Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.
Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?
A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.
Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
A. Charley Weaver: His feet.
Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?
A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh.