How to have an unused bathroom!
Phonetically
At Dawn We Attack
Never Trust An Atom They Make Up Everything
The Grass Is Greener On The Other Side
A Book Commits Suicide Every Time You Watch A Reality TV Show
Sad truth of it is, a bit of you does too.
The more still a person is, the more criminal and the more dead they become.
People who sit for 6 hours a day or more live 10 years less than those more active.
Get up and stretch every 10 minutes.
Years wrinkle the skin but lack of enthusiasm wrinkles the soul.
How Lazy Can You Get?
A site foreman had ten very lazy men working for him, so one day he decided to trick them into doing some work for a change. “I’ve got a really easy job today for the laziest one among you,” he announced. “Will the laziest man please put his hand up?” Nine hands went up. “Why didn’t you put your hand up?” he asked the tenth man. “Too much trouble,” came the reply.
This Comedian Just Pointed Out What Dudes Never Think Of When Asking A Woman Out
Wow! How do we EVER get a yes?
http://www.upworthy.com/this-comedian-just-pointed-out-what-dudes-never-think-of-when-asking-a-woman-out-rc2-c-2?g=3&c=ufb1
How Cold Will Be Winter?
It was April and the Aboriginals in a remote part of Northern Australia asked their new Elder if the coming winter was going to be cold or mild.
As he was an Elder in a modern community he had never been taught the old secrets.
When he looked at the sky he couldn’t tell what the winter was going to be like.
Nevertheless, to be on the safe side, he told his tribe that the winter was indeed going to be cold and that the members of the tribe should collect firewood to be prepared.
But being a practical leader, after several days he had an idea.
He walked out to the telephone booth on the highway, called the Bureau of Meteorology and asked, ‘Is the coming winter in this area going to be cold?’
The meteorologist responded, ‘It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold..’
So the elder went back to his people and told them to collect even more wood in order to be prepared.
A week later he called the Bureau of Meteorology again. ‘Does it still look like it is going to be a very cold winter?’
The meteorologist again replied, ‘Yes, it’s going to be a very cold winter.’
The elder again went back to his community and ordered them to collect every scrap of firewood they could find.
Two weeks later the elder called the Bureau again. ‘Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?’ he asked.
‘Definitely,’ the man replied. ‘It’s looking more and more like it is going to be one of the coldest winters ever.’
‘How can you be so sure?’ the Elder asked.
The weatherman replied, ‘Our satellites have reported that the Aboriginals in the north are collecting firewood like crazy, and that’s always a sure sign.’