Seen on a t-shirt on Facebook

“I take Asprin for the headache caused by the Zyrtec I take for the hayfever I got from Relenza for the uneasy stomach from the Ritalin I take for the short attention span caused by the Scopederm Ts I take for the motion sickness I got from the Lomotil I take for the diarrhea caused by the Zenikal for the uncontrolled weight gain from the Paxil I take for the anxiety from the Zocor I take for my high cholesterol because exercise, a good diet and regular chiropractic are just too much trouble.”

I don’t know whether to categorise this as horror, comedy, tragedy, health advice or as evidence of insanity/crimes against humanity in a law suit against the drug companies.

The Continuing Chronicles of Shianne Els

In response to the letter to the Complaints Dept…
Hello complaints department of this newsletter…. I would like to make a formal complaint (do post this on the website as you see fit) that there has been NO mention of the two most GORGEOUS kids and their antics in FAR too long.!! I mean, Shianne has since discovered for herself that the singular of dishes is disha and Jaylen tells me I am a “good boy mummy” every time I go wee-wees in the toilet!
lv,
teal

Reply:
I must confess to not communicating one of Julie’s and my grandparent pleasure moments. Julie was attempting to teach Shianne how to spell and the correct pronunciation of a word. Julie said, “It’s dishes, d, i, s, h, e, s!” Shianne did not hesitate, she immediately retorted with absolute certainty, “No, it’s disha, t, q, r, s, v!”

Then there was the discussion about the bird droppings on our car. Shianne noticed them and asked what they were. Julie told her about the birds not having toilets and sometimes they did their business while they were flying and the next question was priceless, “Do the birds go backwards before they go to the toilet?”

There’s a lot goes on in that four year old head!