“In need of improvement” or “talks to much” or “could do better listening”. How many times have we heard this growing up or now as parents? Why do we continue to do this? What is the point?
Well maybe I cannot wave a wand a change a system that has been genned into our society since the 1800’s but maybe by taking new approaches the family can regain strength to build confident young leaders for the future that comes.
Here’s an idea I had. I remember going through times when I was told these phrases about my children. I panicked trying to get them to fit in, do better and ultimately this created stress and upsets in the households.
I wish someone could have mentored me as a mother with the knowledge I have now.
A simple exercise:
1) Sit down and ask your child what they feel is their biggest strengths. Communicate this concept in a way that they can answer the question. Take note of these strengths.
2) Then find out what they feel they are running into trouble with. This can be subjects in school, social problems or anything under the sun, moon or stars that is real to the child.
3) Next focus on validating the rightness of the child. Sometimes schooling can get parents focusing on what is wrong and what needs improvement. What if your child doesn’t want to improve in the areas being advised?
4) As you focus on what is right and validate the strengths with your child the bond between you both will become stronger.
5) Problem solve, now you can take a look at what improvements need to be made to help your child succeed.
When my son was really young, he hated having to do roll call in the classroom. He would disrupt the teacher at all costs. This was a problem. So, at home we would place his stuffed animals and toys like a classroom and I would have him do roll call.
Sometimes I would throw the toys like they are disrupting the classroom so that they would not listen to him. He would begin to get frustrated. Then we would problem solve. He would start to see how to be able to be there during roll call.
There were many other exercises we did. Most of them I just made up to create a situation where he could be the cause point in his life. The goal was to help him gain the ability he needed towards the goal he wanted.
L, Sunny