How to get to Heaven from Ireland

I was testing children in my Dublin Sunday school class to see if they understood the concept of getting to heaven.
I asked them, ‘If I sold me house and me car, had a big jumble sale and gave all me money to the church, would that get me into heaven?’
‘NO!’ the children answered.
‘If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the garden, and kept everything tidy, would that get me into heaven?’
Again, the answer was ‘No!’ By now I was starting to smile.
‘Well, then, if I was kind to animals and gave sweeties to all the children, and loved me husband, would that get me into heaven?’
Again, they all answered ‘No!’. I was just bursting with pride for them.
I continued, ‘ Then how can I get into heaven?’
A six year-old boy named Mark shouted out “YU’V GOTTA BE FUK’N DEAD…….”