Category: Humour/Humor

The old farmer smiled and said, “Apparently, you don’t know how we do things in Texas. We settle small disagreements like this with the Texas Three-Kick Rule.” The lawyer asked, “What is the Texas Three-Kick Rule?” The Farmer replied, “Well, first I kick you three times and then you kick me three times, and so on, back and forth, until someone gives up.”
The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom. The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the city feller. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy work boot into the lawyer’s groin and dropped him to his knees. His second kick nearly wiped the man’s nose off his face. The barrister was flat on his belly when the farmer’s third kick to a kidney nearly caused him to give up. The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his feet and said, “Okay, you old coot! Now, it’s my turn!”
The old farmer smiled and said, “No, I give up. You can have the duck!”

The graphic artist and the proof reader and the printer should probably get a rectal examination. Or is that retinal? 🙂

Yeah. Imagine going through life feeling flat and down trodden!

There was this one nurse that just drove me crazy.
Every time she came in, she would talk to me like I was a little child. She would say in a patronizing tone of voice, “and how are we doing this morning?” Or…. “are we ready for a bath?” Or… “are we hungry?”
I had enough of this particular nurse. One day at breakfast, I took the apple juice off the tray and put it in my bedside stand.
Later I was given a urine sample bottle to fill for testing. So you know where the juice went!
The nurse came in a while later, picked up the urine sample bottle, looked at it and said, “My, my, it seems we are a little cloudy today.”
At this, I snatched the bottle out of her hand, popped off the top, and gulped it down, saying, “Well, I’ll run it through again. Maybe I can filter it better this time!”
The nurse fainted… …I just smiled!
(I know it’s a joke but it’s also interesting the problems people create for themselves and others just because they are not prepared to communicate on the things that they don’t like.)

And I’m pleased I have that many. Not going to get bored in an hurry!