Don’t Cause Permanent Harm Over A Temporary State Of Mind

Brittany Traynor

“My feelings of being in the wrong body started when I was a toddler. I hated girl toys and I only wanted to play with boys, I had short hair and dressed myself like a boy. I didn’t understand other girls my age so I felt out of place.

When someone would mistake me for a boy I would feel so good, much to the chagrin of my older sister who would quickly correct them and exclaim, “that’s my SISTER.” At 4 I worked up the courage to ask my mom, “Does God make mistakes, because I think I was supposed to be born a boy?” My mother replied, “No God doesn’t ever make mistakes, he made you exactly the way you’re supposed to be, a beautiful little girl.”

And that was that. I didn’t have any more delusions because my mom cleared it up for me right then and there. Don’t get me wrong I still didn’t like my body and dreaded growing breasts one day, but I didn’t have to question if there was something wrong with me. I was allowed time to grow up, and once I hit puberty I not only felt like I was in the right body, but I became a girly girl!

If I was born in our society today I know I would have been “affirmed” by my teachers and started on a cascade of interventions that would have left me infertile, mutilated and without the husband and two beautiful children that I have today.

Our kids don’t need to be socially or medically transitioned. They need to be left alone, and they need time to grow up.” ~ Brittany Traynor

Snake Experiment

Snake Experiment

In a study, scientists used a fake leg to simulate a person stepping on a rattlesnake. Out of 175 snakes that were physically “stepped on” by the booted foot, only six bit the leg. The rest tried to get away, froze in place, or wriggled in surprise but didn’t react aggressively. It’s actually really hard to get bitten by a rattlesnake. They just want to be left alone.

Rattlesnakes also don’t rattle before striking. A rattle doesn’t mean aggression, it’s an “excuse me, I’m down here.” They rattle to tell you, or other large animals, that you are about to step on them, since they blend in very well with their surroundings and they’d rather you didn’t smush them accidentally. Strikes are generally noise-free acts of last ditch desperation.

Only about 1% of rattlesnake bites are deadly, and those that are generally happen in situations where medical care was delayed. A quarter of rattlesnake bites don’t actually involve any venom at all, they are “dry bites” intended as a warning only. As long as you get to a hospital in a reasonable amount of time, you will probably be fine. This is not a situation where minutes count, just move promptly towards medical care. The deadly bites generally happen in very remote areas, when people are hiking alone, or when drugs and alcohol are involved, since all of these can increase the amount of time it takes someone to get to help or result in poor decision-making. First aid for a bite? Just get the person to a hospital, promptly, but safely. There is nothing else you need to do, and anything you might think about doing is just wasting time getting the person to a hospital and potentially complicating things by rubbing germs into the wound or further stressing the currently stressed tissue in the area. Don’t ice it, tourniquet it, or suck on it, just call 911 or start hiking back to the trailhead.

The anti-venom products ERs use are combination formulas, which work for multiple North American venomous snake species. One works for multiple species of rattlesnakes, cottonmouths, and copperheads. A second anti-venom product works for various rattlers if you know you heard a rattle but aren’t sure of the exact species. Coral snake bites can be identified by looking at the bite itself by hospital staff because the venom works on the body differently and there is a separate antivenom product that works for them. All of this means you don’t need to try to take a closeup picture of the snake that bit you, coax it into a box to bring with you, or kill it to bring in and show to the doctors.

In the case of rattlers, copperheads, and cottonmouths, they have what they need to treat a bite without knowing exactly what species of snake it was, and in the case of coral snakes, can figure out that one bit you without seeing the snake. Don’t waste time or risk a second bite messing with a snake that is already very upset.

Cody Bret On Love

Cody Bret On Love

I Hope You Find A Love That…

This is not only what to look for but also the beingness to aspire to.

I hope you find this.

I hope you find the type of love where there aren’t any mixed signals, just you and your significant other looking at each other across the room and as soon as your eyes meet you can’t stop smiling.
I hope you find a love that’s selfless. The type of person who would do anything for you with no questions asked.
The type of love where someone simply has your best interest at heart.
The type of love where your happiness makes up so much of their own.
I hope you find a love that’s willing to make sacrifices. The type of person who will meet you halfway.
I hope you find a love that’s faithful. Every time you look at them, you know there isn’t anyone that can shake what you two have together.
I hope you find a love that forgives you. The type of person who can see you make mistakes but also helps you to learn from them.
The type of person who can see you at your worst and still think you’re irreplaceable.
The type of person who understands you will never be perfect, but looks at you like you’re the greatest thing that’s ever came into their life.
I hope you find a love that supports you. Someone who not only supports your dreams but wants to see you succeed in all aspects of life.
I hope you find a love that will fight for you. Someone who will always be in your corner.
Someone who will continue choosing you on a daily basis.
I hope you find someone who shows you effort with each day that passes.
The type of person who won’t let you walk away but goes after you if you try to.
I hope you find someone who heals you. I hope you find someone who teaches you that you didn’t deserve what happened to you in the past. I hope you find a love that appreciates you.
I hope you find the type of love that never stops saying thank you. The type of love that even after a long time they are still impressed by what you do for them.
Someone who truly values you for who you are as a person.
I hope you find a love that’s your best friend. Your loudest laugh. Your biggest smile. Your number one fan and your happiest memories.
Because you deserve it.
~ Cody Bret

Another post about strangers – and the elderly

Linda Paice writes:

I thought of this as I was driving home just now and saw an old man walking slowly along the street, then he turned around and started shuffling the other way. I was worried he was confused and lost, so I pulled over and observed him.

After a minute, it looked like he was just exercising as he was going up and down the block, but I wanted to make sure so I drove around to the other side of the road and through my window asked cheerfully if he was exercising. (Cheerfully as I didn’t want to possibly make him feel strange about being checked on due to being old!)

He instantly smiled a warm, friendly smile and walked straight over to my car and said yes he has a heart condition and the doctor said he has to exercise. We launched straight into a great chat, him asking if I live in the neighborhood, proudly pointing out his pretty house, me asking where he was from and that kind of thing. It was so sweet!

As I drove away I was thinking of how he instantly engaged and went from looking somewhat forlorn to so bright and happy to be connecting. I’ve seen this so many times with elderly people. It breaks my heart to think of how overlooked and neglected they can be within society. We’re all busy and rushing about, it’s easy to pass by without considering that, but many old people are desperately lonely.

So, I thought I would post this should it inspire someone to reach out to an elderly stranger or an elderly person they know. Whether it’s a longer visit or just a quick chat – sometimes, if there’s no chance to stop, even eye contact and a warm smile visibly makes a world of difference.

And to be clear, the joy is not one-sided! Old people are the best! So wise, such incredible experiences and stories, and those beautiful old school manners and values. They just melt my heart!

So I’m sending some love out to them!

Quote of the Day

“If you are working on something that you really care about, you don’t have to be pushed. The vision pulls you.” – Steve Jobs, Entrepreneur (1955 – 2011)

Cutting The Grass

Cutting The Grass

This is my neighbor.
He has no idea I took this photo from my window.
When my husband was deployed, one of the worries we had was about the grass.
Who would maintain the yard?
I could go out there and cut the grass myself, but with everything I had on my plate with the two girls, I wasn’t feeling it.
We could try and find a lawn service, but that still meant me having to make sure it got done and that they did a good job.
I wanted as little additional worry as possible while my husband was deployed.
This is where Steve comes in.
I sent him a text and told him about the deployment. I wasn’t sure if he would say yes, but I asked.
“Could you help cut our grass? He will cut it today before he deploys tomorrow, but it would be great if you could cut it and help me maintain it while he is gone. We can pay you.”
He responded right away that it wasn’t a problem at all and that he would not accept payment. He wanted to help.
I let my husband know, and we both breathed a sigh of relief.
When your husband is deployed, whatever worry you can take off your plate means the world.
Knowing the grass would be taken care of was enormous stress off my shoulders.
About an hour later, daddy was playing with his girls.
He was trying to soak up as much time as possible with them before deploying the next day.
He told them he could play for a bit, but he also had to go outside and cut the grass soon.
Then we heard it.
A mower.
My husband said, “Aliette, Steve is cutting the grass! Maybe he misunderstood that we didn’t need him to help us until next week when I’m already gone.”
I went outside. “Steve, we didn’t need you to start until next week, and he was going to do it today before he leaves tomorrow.”
Steve responded, “I know. But I’m not the one about to leave my family for deployment. He can spend time with his family, and I got it.”
My face swelled with tears.
Tears of worry, gratitude, anxiety, relief all rolled into one.
It all came pouring out on Steve, who probably thought I was a bit overly emotional about grass.
But it wasn’t about the grass.
It was about the gift of time he gave us.
A neighbor stepped up to help when we needed it.

As I came back inside, I thought of Mr. Rogers.
It’s a beautiful day in this neighborhood,
A beautiful day for a neighbor.
So let’s make the most of this beautiful day,
Since we’re together, we might as well say,
Won’t you be my neighbor?