The Departed
Expected Death ~ When someone dies, the first thing to do is nothing. Don’t run out and call the nurse. Don’t pick up the phone. Take a deep breath and be present to the magnitude of the moment.
There’s a grace to being at the bedside of someone you love as they make their transition out of this world. At the moment they take their last breath, there’s an incredible sacredness in the space. The veil between the worlds opens.
We’re so unprepared and untrained in how to deal with death that sometimes a kind of panic response kicks in. “They’re dead!”
We knew they were going to die, so their being dead is not a surprise. It’s not a problem to be solved. It’s very sad, but it’s not cause to panic.
If anything, their death is cause to take a deep breath, to stop, and be really present to what’s happening. If you’re at home, maybe put on the kettle and make a cup of tea.
Sit at the bedside and just be present to the experience in the room. What’s happening for you? What might be happening for them? What other presences are here that might be supporting them on their way? Tune into all the beauty and magic.
Pausing gives your soul a chance to adjust, because no matter how prepared we are, a death is still a shock. If we kick right into “do” mode, and call 911, or call the hospice, we never get a chance to absorb the enormity of the event.
Give yourself five minutes or 10 minutes, or 15 minutes just to be. You’ll never get that time back again if you don’t take it now.
After that, do the smallest thing you can. Call the one person who needs to be called. Engage whatever systems need to be engaged, but engage them at the very most minimal level. Move really, really, really, slowly, because this is a period where it’s easy for body and soul to get separated.
Our bodies can gallop forwards, but sometimes our souls haven’t caught up. If you have an opportunity to be quiet and be present, take it. Accept and acclimatize and adjust to what’s happening. Then, as the train starts rolling, and all the things that happen after a death kick in, you’ll be better prepared.
You won’t get a chance to catch your breath later on. You need to do it now.
Being present in the moments after death is an incredible gift to yourself, it’s a gift to the people you’re with, and it’s a gift to the person who’s just died.
They’re just a hair’s breath away. They’re just starting their new journey in the world without a body. If you keep a calm space around their body, and in the room, they’re launched in a more beautiful way. It’s a service to both sides of the veil.
Credit for the beautiful words ~ Sarah Kerr, Ritual Healing Practitioner and Death Doula
Beautiful art by Columbus Community Deathcare
Making The World A Better Place, One Small Deed At A Time – The Candy Bar Man – Bob Williams
Every weekend, 93-year-old Bob Williams walks into his local dollar store in Long Grove, Iowa, and buys a box of Hersheys. Not those small, regular-sized candy bars… but the really big ones.
Bob, however, typically doesn’t enjoy them himself. He gives one to the cashier, and then to the person waiting behind him in line. And then he walks the downtown area handing them out to everyone he sees… …young, old, men, women, happy, sad… …everyone. He has been doing this for the past 11 years and he’s known as “The Candy Bar guy.”
It’s estimated that over the years, Bob has handed out about 6,000 chocolate bars.
So why does Bob do it? Because it puts a smile on everyone’s face. And THAT’S always worth it.
(Tom: Here’s a man making a positive difference in people’s lives!
Not many of us cannot do something this simple.
Doesn’t take an iron will, superhuman strength or millions of dollars. Just a bit of money, time, care and the intention to make the world a better place.
And if you want to start with zero dollars down, here’s a great quote I saw yesterday:
“You cannot add to the peace and goodwill of the world if you fail to create an atmosphere of harmony and love right where you live and work.” – Thomas Dreier
So, on your list of things to do today, what are you going to add that makes the world better than it was yesterday? Here are some suggestions.
Smile more. Especially when you first make eye contact and answering the phone.
Compliment people.
Hold a door open.
Let someone merge into your lane when driving.
Smile and wave or say thank you when someone lets you cut in or is otherwise polite to you.
Pay more attention when someone is talking to you.
Let’s make a game of this.
The More We…
Raise Kids Who Can Name More Plants and Animals
Reading Teaches…
Be Inspired!
“When I was 19 years old I couldn’t go to college because I came from a poor family. We had no money, so I went to the library at least. Three days a week I read every possible book. At the age of 27 I have actually completed almost the entire library instead of university. So I got my education in the library and for free. When a person wants something, they will find a way to achieve it.
I would like to remind you of one thing:
Humans should never forget that we have been assigned only a very small place on earth, that we live surrounded by nature that can easily take back everything that has ever given to man.
It costs absolutely nothing in her way to one day blow us all off the face of the earth or flood the waters of the ocean with her single breath, just to remind man once again that he is not as all-powerful as he still foolishly thinks. “
Ray Bradbury
American writer
I love you, sweetheart.
A group of 12 women were at a seminar on how to live in a loving relationship with their husbands. The women were asked, “How many of you love your husband?” All the women raised their hands.
Then they were asked, “When was the last time you told your husband you loved him?” Some women answered today, a few yesterday, and some couldn’t remember.
The women were then told to take out their cell phones and text their husband “I love you, sweetheart.”
Next the women were instructed to exchange phones with another woman and read aloud the text message they received in response to their message.
Below are the 12 actual replies from their husbands. If you have been married for quite a while, you understand that these replies are a sign of true love. Who else would reply in such a succinct and honest way?
- Who the hell is this?
- Hey, mother of my children, are you sick or what?
- Yeah, and I love you too. ….. What’s wrong?
- What now? Did you wreck the car again?
- I don’t understand what you mean?
- What the hell did you do now?
- Are you sure this is for me?
- Don’t beat about the bush, just tell me how much you need?
- Am I dreaming?
- If you don’t tell me who this message is actually for, someone will die
- I thought we agreed you wouldn’t drink during the day.
- Your mother is coming to stay with us, isn’t she?
Trust Me
Many decades ago now, after being relieved of some serious coin by a person fond of saying “trust me” I came to the conclusion that the sort of person who says that does so because they are unwilling or unable to show you evidence that what they want you to believe is true.
No recent events have operated to dissuade me from that conclusion. If anything, time, events and others’ experience has validated my conclusion.
Look around and make up your own mind about it. Don’t trust my conclusion, look for yourself.
The current campaign around the Voice is a more than adequate example of Albo saying don’t worry about the details, trust me.
I wouldn’t trust him as far as I could throw him!
As a matter of fact, having some insight into the details, intent and machinations behind the Voice I would put it in the category of what most politicians do, a sleight of hand, black magic trick.
Same as the last three and a half years of propaganda.
Or, “scientific consensus”. That’s when the majority have been bought.
What can I do for 10 minutes every day that will change my life?
My mother told me this story. I have an uncle (I don’t know him). He is a businessman. He followed a simple rule all his life. That was always having morning tea with his mother.
If they are at home, they sit together and take sips of tea. When they are far, they call each other and at same time start having tea and talk to each other.
This thing seems so simple but here is it’s power. Before his mother died, she told him, “I would have died 10 years ago, it’s your morning cup of tea that kept me alive.”
Your couple of seconds can give someone all they need. Because here you are giving the best thing you can give to your loved ones that is Your time.
Spend your time with them and if you are far, talk to them atleast once in a day. It will not only make them feel happy but will also put a smile on your face.