Some medical humour… …and some yardsticks by which to measure your practitioner.

The physician, who, having just forbidden his cardiac patient indulgence in tobacco, alcohol and amorous intimacies, was asked by the victim, “Tell me, doctor, if I give these things up, will I live longer?” to which his physician replied with charm and candor, “No, but it’ll seem longer.” – Bernard Meyer

Medical science is making such remarkable progress that soon none of us will be well. — Aldous Huxley

The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient while nature cures the disease. – Voltaire

True professionals provide considered advice. And sometimes doing nothing is exactly the right thing to do. The same is true of medicine. Recognize that the doctor who advises no action may be the one who really cares for you. – Dr. Gilbert H. Welch

It may seem a strange principle to enunciate as the very first requirement in a hospital that it should do the sick no harm. – Florence Nightingale

Do as much as possible for the patient, and as little as possible to the patient. – Dr Bernard Lown

It all starts by caring enough to engage the patient in the decision-making. Many people argue that ‘We don’t have time for this in the consultation. I’d rather just tell people what I think is best for them and then they can decide whether they want it or not.

Well, that’s not very caring. This might be efficient, but it does not reflect the best that we can offer. – Dr. Victor Montori, on shared decision-making

I will follow that system of regimen which, according to my ability and judgment, I consider for the benefit of my patients, and abstain from whatever is deleterious and mischievous. – Hippocrates