WALTER'S QUESTIONS – This is classic! Shame it's so close to the truth!

Obama goes to a primary school to talk to the kids. After his talk he offers question
time. One little boy puts up his hand, and Obama asks him his name.
“Walter,” responds the little boy.
“And what is your question, Walter?”
“I have four questions:
First, why did the USA bomb Libya without the support of the Congress?
Second, why do you keep saying you fixed the economy when it’s actually gotten worse?
Third, why did you say that Jeremiah Wright was your mentor, then said that you knew nothing about his preaching and beliefs?
Fourth, why are we lending money to Brazil to drill for oil, but America is not allowed to drill for oil?”
Just then, the bell rings for recess. Obama informs the kiddies that they will continue after recess.
When they resume, Obama says, “OK, where were we?
Oh, that’s right: question time. Who has a question?”
Another little boy puts up his hand. Obama points him out and asks him his name.
“Steve,” he responds.
“And what is your question, Steve?”
Actually, I have two questions:
First, why did the recess bell ring 20 minutes early?
Second, what the hell happened to Walter?”

UN World Survey

They say, “Many a true word spoken in jest!”
Here’s another…
WORLD SURVEY BY PHONE
Last month a world-wide telephone survey was conducted by the UN.
The only question asked was:
“Could you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food
shortage in the rest of the world?”
The survey was a massive failure because of the following:
1. In Eastern Europe they didn’t know what “honest” meant.
2. In Western Europe they didn’t know what “shortage” meant.
3. In Africa they didn’t know what “food” meant.
4. In China they didn’t know what “opinion” meant.
5. In the Middle East they didn’t know what “solution” meant.
6. In South America they didn’t know what “please” meant.
7. In the USA they didn’t know what “the rest of the world” meant.
8. In Australia they hung up as soon as they heard the Indian accent.

Star Woofs

If you like Star Wars and\or dogs you will enjoy this… http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ntDYjS0Y3w&sns=em

How to Tell if a Woman is Upset

You can tell a lot about a woman by her hands. For instance, if they’re placed around your throat she’s probably slightly upset.
Or if they’re holding an AK-47 and it’s aimed at you, I’d say she was pretty damned upset.
Although I’ve found that the eyes give it away too.
When you can’t see her eyes behind the sights of a bazooka or rocket launcher, you can be reasonably assured she is a tad disgruntled too!