Category: Humour/Humor

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Old Claim Ticket

Old Claim Ticket

Arnold and his wife were cleaning out the attic one day when he came across a ticket from the local shoe repair shop. The date stamped on the ticket showed that it was over eleven years old. They both laughed and tried to remember which of them might have forgotten to pick up a pair of shoes over a decade ago.

“Do you think the shoes will still be in the shop?” Arnold asked.

“Not very likely,” his wife said.

“It’s worth a try,” Arnold said, pocketing the ticket.

He went downstairs, hopped into the car, and drove to the store. With a straight face, he handed the ticket to the man behind the counter. With a face just as straight, the man said, “Just a minute. I’ll have to look for these.” He disappeared into a dark corner at the back of the shop.

Two minutes later, the man called out, “Here they are!”

“No kidding?” Arnold called back. “That’s terrific! Who would have thought they’d still be here after all this time.”

The man came back to the counter, empty-handed. “They’ll be ready Thursday,” he said calmly.

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Al Tilley The Bum

Al Tilley The Bum

Drew Cohen wrote: This was the very first Far Side I ever saw. I remember seeing it in the NY Daily News and it took me a moment to fathom what was going on, having never seen the strip before and therefor not expecting its unique sensibility. No humor is better than the clever (but not TOO clever) line that takes you a second to take in, understand, and then fully comprehend. I was hooked on Day 1. You never forget your first. Thank you Mr. Larson!

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Gandhi … A lovely little anecdote about one of life’s more interesting characters.

Gandhi
When Mahatma Gandhi was studying law at the University College of London, a professor by the name of Peters disliked him intensely and always displayed animosity towards him. And because Gandhi never lowered his head when addressing him, as he expected, there were always ‘arguments’ and confrontations.
One day Mr Peters was having lunch at the University dining room when Gandhi came along with his tray and sat next to him.
The professor said, “Mr Gandhi, you do not understand. A pig and a bird do not sit together to eat. “Gandhi looked at him as a parent would a rude child and calmly replied, “You do not worry, professor. I’ll fly away”, and he went and sat at another table.
Peters, red with rage, decided to take revenge on the next test paper, but Gandhi responded brilliantly to all questions.
Unhappy and frustrated, Mr Peters asked him the following question: “Mr Gandhi, if you were walking down the street and found a package, and within was a bag of wisdom and another bag with a lot of money, which one would you take?”
Without hesitating, Gandhi responded, “The one with the money, of course.”
Mr Peters, smiling sarcastically, said, “I, in your place, would have taken the wisdom.”
Gandhi shrugged indifferently and responded, “Each one takes what he doesn’t have.”
Mr Peters, by this time, was fit to be tied. So great was his anger that he wrote on Gandhi’s exam sheet the word “idiot” and handed it back to him.
Gandhi took the exam sheet and sat down at his desk, trying hard to remain calm while he contemplated his next move. A few minutes later, Gandhi got up, went to the professor and said to him in a dignified but sarcastically polite tone, “Mr Peters, you autographed the sheet, but you did not give me a grade.”