Category: Humour/Humor

Why pet owners have kinks in their backs!

Madden’s coming up to two. I can relate to this. Not as much as Teal can but I can still relate to it. Julie and I will be soon be doing a full weekend grandparenting while Teal and Rene go away for the weekend. Wish us luck!

A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter.
“What are you doing?” she asked.
“Hunting Flies.” he responded.
“Oh. Killing any?” she asked.
“Yep, 3 males, 2 females.” he replied.
Intrigued, she asked, “How can you tell them apart?”
He responded, “3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone.”

Ingredients
1 cup of water
1 tsp. baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp. salt
1 cup of brown sugar
lemon juice
4 large eggs
nuts
2 cups of dried fruit
1 bottle Johnnie Walker
Instructions
Sample the Johnnie Walker to check quality.
Take a large bowl, check the whisky again.
To be sure it is the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.
Repeat.
Turn on the electric mixer.
Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.
Add one teaspoon of sugar.
Beat again.
Make sure the whisky is still OK.
Cry another tup.
Turn off the mixerer.
Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.
Mix on the turner.
If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers pry it loose with a drewscriver.
Sample the whisky to check for tonsisticity.
Next, sift two cups of salt. Or something. Who giveshz a knees bee.
Check the whisky.
Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.
Add one table.
Add a spoon of sugar, or something. Whatever you can find.
Greash the oven and piss in the fridge.
Turn the cake tin 350 defrees.
Don’t forget to beat off the turner.
Throw the bowl out the shtingking window.
Check the whisky again and bo to ged.