Three Kinds Of Men
David Bowie and John Lennon
Eurasian Eagle Owl Chicks
Too good to not share.
After I smiled at the humour I thought, “Pretty simple really. Just extrapolate consequences and evaluate.”
I don’t know if that is on the syllabus anywhere these days but based on the number of contenders each year for the Darwin awards, I suspect not.
And when you look at the world stage and see the consequences of the US neocons poking the Russian bear via their installed Ukraine puppet and the billions of wasted dollars and lives being destroyed you realise it is not just immature boys who cannot extrapolate consequences and evaluate the results but also criminals of all ilks.
The Donkey In The Well
One day a farmer’s donkey fell into a well. The animal cried loudly for hours, while the farmer tried to find something to do to get him out.
Finally, the farmer decided that the donkey was old and the well was already dry and needed to be covered anyway; that it really wasn’t worth pulling the donkey out of the well.
He invited all his neighbors to come help him. They each grabbed a shovel and began to throw dirt into the well.
The donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly loud. Then, to everyone’s surprise, he quieted down after a few shovelfuls of dirt.
The farmer finally looked down into the well and was amazed at what he saw… …with each shovelful of dirt, the donkey was doing something incredible: It was shaking off the dirt and stepping on top of the dirt.
Very soon everyone saw surprised how the donkey reached the mouth of the well, went over the edge and trotted out.
Life is going to throw dirt at you, all kinds of dirt… the trick to getting out of the hole is to shake it off and use it to step up. Each of our problems is a step up. We can get out of the deepest holes if we don’t give up…
Use the land they throw you to get ahead!!!
Remember the 5 rules to be happy:
1. Free your heart from hate.
2. Free your Mind of distractions.
3. Simplify your life.
4. Give more and expect less.
5. Love more and… shake the dirt, because in this life you have to be a solution, not the problem!
(Tom: Or, if you like it even simpler, the two rules for happy living are stated and explained here: https://www.livinginwellbeing.org/what-are-the-two-rules-for-happy-living/)
The Genius of Steven Wright
1 – I’d kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
2 – Borrow money from pessimists — they don’t expect it back.
3 – Half the people you know are below average.
4 – 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
5 – 82.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
6 – A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
7 – A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
8 – If you want the rainbow, you got to put up with the rain.
9 – All those who believe in psycho kinesis, raise my hand.
10 – The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
11 – I almost had a psychic girlfriend… …but she left me before we met.
12 – OK, so what’s the speed of dark?
13 – How do you tell when you’re out of invisible ink?
14 – If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
15 – Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
16 – When everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
17 – Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
18 – Hard work pays off in the future; laziness pays off now.
19 – I intend to live forever … So far, so good.
20 – If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
21 – Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.
22 – What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
23 – My mechanic told me, “I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.”
24 – Why do psychics have to ask you for your name
25 – If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
26 – A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
27 – Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
28 – The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.
29 – To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
30 – The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
31 – The sooner you fall behind, the more time you’ll have to catch up.
32 – The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it.
33 – Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don’t have film.
34 – If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.
35 – If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work?
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