1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men’s used size 14-16 work boots.
\n2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of ‘Guns & Ammo’ Magazine.
\n3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.
\n4. Leave a note on your door that reads:<\/p>\n
Hey Blue,<\/p>\n
We’ve gone for more ammo and beer. Be back in an hour. Don’t<\/p>\n
mess with the pit bulls; they attacked the mailman this morning<\/p>\n
and messed him up real bad. I don’t think Killer took part, but it<\/p>\n
was hard to tell from all the blood.<\/p>\n
Anyway, I locked all four of ’em in the house.<\/p>\n
Better wait outside. Be right back.
\nCheers,
\nWacka<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men’s used size 14-16 work boots. 2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of ‘Guns & Ammo’ Magazine. 3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines. 4. Leave a note on your door that reads: … <\/p>\n