![\"Grandparents\"](\"http:\/\/www.tomgrimshaw.com\/tomsblog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/12\/Grandparents-224x300.jpg\")
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1. I was in the bathroom, putting on my makeup, under the watchful eyes of my young granddaughter, as I\u2019d done many times before. After I applied my lipstick and started to leave, the little one said, \u201cBut Grandma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!\u201d I will probably never put lipstick on again without thinking about kissing the toilet paper good-bye….
\n2. My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday. He asked me how old I was, and I told him, 68. My grandson was quiet for a moment, and then he asked, \u201cDid you start at 1?\u201d
\n3. After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. Finally, she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the room, she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice, \u201cWho was THAT?\u201d
\n4. A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood was like. \u201cWe used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods.\u201d The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this all in. At last she said, \u201cI sure wish I\u2019d gotten to know you sooner!\u201d
\n5. My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, \u201cGrandma, do you know how you and God are alike?\u201d I mentally polished my halo and I said, \u201cNo, how are we alike?\u2019\u2019 \u201cYou\u2019re both old,\u201d he replied.
\n6. A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather\u2019s word processor. She told him she was writing a story.
\n\u201cWhat\u2019s it about?\u201d he asked.
\n\u201cI don\u2019t know,\u201d she replied. \u201cI can\u2019t read.\u201d
\n7. I didn\u2019t know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I decided to test her. I would point out something and ask what color it was. She would tell me and was always correct. It was fun for me, so I continued. At last, she headed for the door, saying, \u201cGrandma, I really think you should try to figure out some of these colors yourself!\u201d
\n8. When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept the lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects. Still, a few fireflies followed us in. Noticing them before I did, Billy whispered, \u201cIt\u2019s no use Grandpa. Now the mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights.\u201d
\n9. When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, \u201cI\u2019m not sure.\u201d \u201cLook in your underwear, Grandpa,\u201d he advised \u201cMine says I\u2019m 4 to 6.\u201d (WOW! I really like this one — it says I\u2019m only \u201938\u2019!)
\n10. A second grader came home from school and said to her grandmother, \u201cGrandma, guess what? We learned how to make babies today.\u201d The grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool. \u201cThat\u2019s interesting.\u201d she said. \u201cHow do you make babies?\u201d \u201cIt\u2019s simple,\u201d replied the girl. \u201cYou just change \u2019y\u2019 to \u2019i\u2019 and add \u2019es\u2019.\u201d
\n11. Children\u2019s Logic: \u201cGive me a sentence about a public servant,\u201d said a teacher. The small boy wrote: \u201cThe fireman came down the ladder pregnant.\u201d The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. \u201cDon\u2019t you know what pregnant means?\u201d she asked. \u201cSure,\u201d said the young boy confidently. \u2019It means carrying a child.\u201d
\n12. A grandfather was delivering his grandchildren to their home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing the dog\u2019s duties.
\n\u201cThey use him to keep crowds back,\u201d said one child.
\n\u201cNo,\u201d said another. \u201cHe\u2019s just for good luck.\u201d
\nA third child brought the argument to a close. \u201cThey use the dogs,\u201d she said firmly, \u201cto find the fire hydrants.\u201d
\n13. A 6-year-old was asked where his grandma lived. \u201cOh,\u201d he said, \u201cshe lives at the airport, and whenever we want her, we just go get her. Then, when we\u2019re done having her visit, we take her back to the airport.\u201d
\n14. Grandpa is the smartest man on earth! He teaches me good things, but I don\u2019t get to see him enough to get as smart as him!
\n15. My Grandparents are funny, when they bend over, you hear gas leaks and they blame their dog.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
1. I was in the bathroom, putting on my makeup, under the watchful eyes of my young granddaughter, as I\u2019d done many times before. After I applied my lipstick and started to leave, the little one said, \u201cBut Grandma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!\u201d I will probably never put lipstick on again … <\/p>\n