{"id":36175,"date":"2021-12-07T03:56:56","date_gmt":"2021-12-06T16:56:56","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.tomgrimshaw.com\/tomsblog\/?p=36175"},"modified":"2021-12-07T03:56:56","modified_gmt":"2021-12-06T16:56:56","slug":"joni-mitchell-on-monogamy-wise-words","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.tomgrimshaw.com\/tomsblog\/?p=36175","title":{"rendered":"Joni Mitchell on monogamy &#8211; wise words"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-medium wp-image-36176\" src=\"http:\/\/www.tomgrimshaw.com\/tomsblog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/Joni_Mitchell_2021-300x200.jpg\" alt=\"Joni Mitchell\" width=\"300\" height=\"200\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.tomgrimshaw.com\/tomsblog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/Joni_Mitchell_2021-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.tomgrimshaw.com\/tomsblog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/Joni_Mitchell_2021-768x512.jpg 768w, https:\/\/www.tomgrimshaw.com\/tomsblog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/Joni_Mitchell_2021.jpg 960w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/p>\n<div dir=\"auto\"><\/div>\n<div dir=\"auto\">\u201cI don\u2019t know if I\u2019ve learned anything yet! I did learn how to have a happy home, but I consider myself fortunate in that regard because I could\u2019ve rolled right by it. Everybody has a superficial side and a deep side, but this culture doesn\u2019t place much value on depth \u2014 we don\u2019t have shamans or soothsayers, and depth isn\u2019t encouraged or understood. Surrounded by this shallow, glossy society we develop a shallow side, too, and we become attracted to fluff. That\u2019s reflected in the fact that this culture sets up an addiction to romance based on insecurity \u2014 the uncertainty of whether or not you\u2019re truly united with the object of your obsession is the rush people get hooked on. I\u2019ve seen this pattern so much in myself and my friends and some people never get off that line.<\/div>\n<div dir=\"auto\"><\/div>\n<div dir=\"auto\">\u201cBut along with developing my superficial side, I always nurtured a deeper longing, so even when I was falling into the trap of that other kind of love, I was hip to what I was doing. I recently read an article in Esquire magazine called \u2018The End of Sex,\u2019 that said something that struck me as very true. It said: \u201cIf you want endless repetition, see a lot of different people. If you want infinite variety, stay with one.\u201d What happens when you date is you run all your best moves and tell all your best stories \u2014 and in a way, that routine is a method for falling in love with yourself over and over.<\/div>\n<div dir=\"auto\"><\/div>\n<div dir=\"auto\">\u201cYou can\u2019t do that with a longtime mate because he knows all that old material. With a long relationship, things die then are rekindled, and that shared process of rebirth deepens the love. It\u2019s hard work, though, and a lot of people run at the first sign of trouble. You\u2019re with this person, and suddenly you look like an asshole to them or they look like an asshole to you \u2014 it\u2019s unpleasant, but if you can get through it you get closer and you learn a way of loving that\u2019s different from the neurotic love enshrined in movies. It\u2019s warmer and has more padding to it.\u201d ~ Joni Mitchell<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\u201cI don\u2019t know if I\u2019ve learned anything yet! I did learn how to have a happy home, but I consider myself fortunate in that regard because I could\u2019ve rolled right by it. Everybody has a superficial side and a deep side, but this culture doesn\u2019t place much value on depth \u2014 we don\u2019t have shamans &hellip; <\/p>\n<p class=\"link-more\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.tomgrimshaw.com\/tomsblog\/?p=36175\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading<span class=\"screen-reader-text\"> &#8220;Joni Mitchell on monogamy &#8211; wise words&#8221;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5,8],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-36175","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-general-interest","category-inspiration"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.tomgrimshaw.com\/tomsblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/36175","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.tomgrimshaw.com\/tomsblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.tomgrimshaw.com\/tomsblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.tomgrimshaw.com\/tomsblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.tomgrimshaw.com\/tomsblog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=36175"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.tomgrimshaw.com\/tomsblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/36175\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":36177,"href":"https:\/\/www.tomgrimshaw.com\/tomsblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/36175\/revisions\/36177"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.tomgrimshaw.com\/tomsblog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=36175"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.tomgrimshaw.com\/tomsblog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=36175"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.tomgrimshaw.com\/tomsblog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=36175"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}