A man wakes up in the hospital bandaged from head to foot.
\nThe doctor comes in and says, \u201cAh, I see you\u2019ve regained consciousness.
\nNow you probably won\u2019t remember, but you were in a huge pile-up on the freeway.
\nYou\u2019re going to be okay, you\u2019ll walk again and everything, however, your penis was severed in the accident and we couldn\u2019t find it.\u201d
\nThe man groans, but the doctor goes on, \u201cYou have $9000 in insurance compensation coming and we now have the technology to build a new penis. They work great but they don\u2019t come cheap. It\u2019s roughly $1000 an inch.\u201d
\nThe man perks up.
\n\u201cSo,\u201d the doctor says, \u201cYou must decide how many inches you want. I understand that you have been married for over thirty years and this is something you should discuss with your wife. If you had a five incher before and get a nine incher now she might be a bit put out.
\nIf you had a nine incher before and you decide to only invest in a five incher now, she might be disappointed. It\u2019s important that she plays a role in helping you make a decision.\u201d
\nThe man agrees to talk it over with his wife.
\nThe doctor comes back the next day, \u201cSo, have you spoken with your wife?\u201d
\n\u201dYes I have,\u201d says the man.
\n\u201dAnd has she helped you make a decision?\u201d
\n\u201dYes, she has,\u201d says the man.
\n\u201dWhat is your decision?\u201d asks the doctor.
\n\u201dWe\u2019re getting granite kitchen counter tops.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
A man wakes up in the hospital bandaged from head to foot. The doctor comes in and says, \u201cAh, I see you\u2019ve regained consciousness. Now you probably won\u2019t remember, but you were in a huge pile-up on the freeway. You\u2019re going to be okay, you\u2019ll walk again and everything, however, your penis was severed in … <\/p>\n