{"id":12278,"date":"2015-12-09T19:36:16","date_gmt":"2015-12-09T09:36:16","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/tomgrimshaw.com\/tomsblog\/?p=12278"},"modified":"2015-12-09T19:36:16","modified_gmt":"2015-12-09T09:36:16","slug":"moving-to-chicago","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.tomgrimshaw.com\/tomsblog\/?p=12278","title":{"rendered":"Moving To Chicago"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Bob was sitting on the plane waiting to fly to Chicago when a guy took the seat beside him. The guy was an emotional wreck, pale, hands shaking in fear.<br \/>\n&#8220;What&#8217;s the matter, afraid of flying?&#8221; Bob asked.<br \/>\n&#8220;No, it&#8217;s not that. I&#8217;ve been transferred to Chicago. The people are crazy there, right? Lots of shootings, gangs, race riots, drugs, poor schools, and the highest crime rate in the nation.&#8221;<br \/>\nBob replied, &#8220;I&#8217;ve lived in Chicago all my life. It&#8217;s not as bad as the media says. Find a nice home, go to work, mind your own business, and enroll your kids in a nice private school. I&#8217;ve worked there for 14 years and never had the slightest trouble.&#8221;<br \/>\nThe guy relaxed and stopped shaking and said, &#8220;Oh, thank you. I&#8217;ve been worried to death, but if you&#8217;ve lived and worked there all those years and say it&#8217;s OK, I&#8217;ll take your word for it. What do you do for a living?&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;I&#8217;m a tail gunner on a Budweiser truck.&#8221;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Bob was sitting on the plane waiting to fly to Chicago when a guy took the seat beside him. The guy was an emotional wreck, pale, hands shaking in fear. &#8220;What&#8217;s the matter, afraid of flying?&#8221; Bob asked. &#8220;No, it&#8217;s not that. I&#8217;ve been transferred to Chicago. The people are crazy there, right? Lots of &hellip; <\/p>\n<p class=\"link-more\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.tomgrimshaw.com\/tomsblog\/?p=12278\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading<span class=\"screen-reader-text\"> &#8220;Moving To Chicago&#8221;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5,7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-12278","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-general-interest","category-humourhumor"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.tomgrimshaw.com\/tomsblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12278","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.tomgrimshaw.com\/tomsblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.tomgrimshaw.com\/tomsblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.tomgrimshaw.com\/tomsblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.tomgrimshaw.com\/tomsblog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=12278"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.tomgrimshaw.com\/tomsblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12278\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.tomgrimshaw.com\/tomsblog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=12278"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.tomgrimshaw.com\/tomsblog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=12278"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.tomgrimshaw.com\/tomsblog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=12278"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}