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INEXPERIENCED CHILI TASTER

Notes From An Inexperienced Chili Tester Named FRANK, who was visiting Texas from the East Coast: “Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge’s table asking directions to the beer wagon, when the call came. I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans) that the chili wouldn’t be all that spicy, and besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, So I accepted.”
Here are the scorecards from the event:
CHILI # 1 MIKE’S MANIAC MOBSTER MONSTER CHILI
JUDGE ONE: A little too heavy on tomato. Amusing kick.
JUDGE TWO: Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.
FRANK: Holy shit, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that’s the worst one. These Texans are crazy.
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CHILI # 2 ARTHUR’S AFTERBURNER CHILI
JUDGE ONE: Smokey, with a hint of pork. Slight Jalapeno tang.
JUDGE TWO: Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.
FRANK: Keep this out of the reach of children I’m not sure what I am supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face.
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CHILI # 3 FRED’S FAMOUS BURN DOWN THE BARN CHILI
JUDGE ONE: Excellent firehouse chili! Great kick. Needs more beans.
JUDGE TWO: A beanless chili, a bit salty, good use of peppers.
FRANK: Call the EPA, I’ve located a uranium spill. My nose feels like have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now, get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back; now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I’m getting shit-faced from all the beer.
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CHILI # 4 BUBBA’S BLACK MAGIC
JUDGE ONE: Black bean chili with almost no spice.
Disappointing.
JUDGE TWO: Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a chili.
FRANK: I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it, is it possible to burnout taste buds? Sally, the barmaid, was standing behind me with fresh refills; that 300 lb. bitch is starting to look HOT just like this nuclear waste I’m eating. Is chili an aphrodisiac?
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CHILI # 5 LINDA’S LEGAL LIP REMOVER
JUDGE ONE: Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very Impressive.
JUDGE TWO: Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.
FRANK: My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from a pitcher. I wonder if I’m burning my lips off?
It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming.
“Screw those rednecks!”
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CHILI # 6 VERA’S VERY VEGETARIAN VARIETY
JUDGE ONE: Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spice and peppers.
JUDGE TWO: The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic. Superb.
FRANK: My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulfuric flames. I shit myself when I farted and I’m worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except Sally. I can’t feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my rear with a snow cone!
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CHILI # 7 SUSAN’S SCREAMING SENSATION CHILI
JUDGE ONE: A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.
JUDGE TWO: Ho Hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. I should take note that I am worried about Judge Number 3, He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably.
FRANK: You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn’t feel a damed thing. I’ve lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava-like shit to match my damn shirt. At least during the autopsy they’ll know what killed me. I’ve decided to stop breathing, it’s too painful. Screw it, I’m not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I’ll just inhale it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.

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Destroy Marriage?

George Soros
The suppressives are out to destroy our society. Recognise their handiwork and do not buy their garbage. Figuratively and literally.
Sophie York from the Marriage Alliance writes:
How would you feel living in a world without marriage?
On Fridays, I usually send you a wrap up of the weekly news, but something particularly concerning happened yesterday that I wanted to highlight specifically. The above comment was tweeted by GetUp! campaign director Sally Rugg, a leader of the campaign to redefine marriage. After significant pushback, she claimed it was just a joke
But this was no joke. Ms Rugg has previously said that the push to redefine marriage is “not even really about marriage… the reform sends a message.”
And a few years back, same-sex marriage activist Masha Gessen made a similar public comment:
“The institution of marriage should not exist.”
She wasn’t joking either.
None of these comments are funny, because the people who made them were not joking. These were not attempts at humour, they reveal the true agenda of many extreme activists in Australia today.
It is an agenda that seeks to stifle your freedom of speech, to indoctrinate your kids, and to ‘destroy marriage’.
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Billionaire George Soros has ties to more than 50 ‘partners’ of the Women’s March on Washington
http://nytlive.nytimes.com/womenintheworld/2017/01/20/billionaire-george-soros-has-ties-to-more-than-50-partners-of-the-womens-march-on-washington/
GetUp! was established by ­activists Jeremy Heimans and David Madden with funding from Soros. The Labor-affiliated Construction Forestry Mining Energy Union donated $1.1 million to the group. Bill Shorten and John Hewson are former board members. A major funder listed on its 2014-15 Australian Electoral Commission expenditure return is Avaaz, the US GetUp! ­affiliate that has received copious amounts of funding from Soros networks.
http://www.theaustralian.com.au/opinion/dumped-files-show-influence-of-george-soros-on-western-politics/news-story/937a225e62420ea3807bd8308b0dad83

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Grassroots campaign launched to #SaveNaturalNews

The extreme censorship onslaught against Natural News continues by Google, which blacklisted the entire website without warning.
Today we’ve launched these buttons and banners that you can use to show your support for NaturalNews.
https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/petition/petition-ban-googles-blatant-suppression-free-speech Sign this White House petition NOW. It’s already exceeded 10K signatures.
Tweet out using hashtag #SaveNaturalNews to join the fight to support our right to engage in public debate on the important issues of our time.
http://www.naturalnews.com/2017-02-24-google-now-cites-obscure-ad-code-in-old-blog-posts-in-a-blogs-subdomain-as-their-reason-for-blacklisting-the-entire-naturalnews-com-website-insane.html Read about the “selective scrutiny” being applied to Natural News and the technical “justification” Google is giving to excuse the total censorship of the entire site.
And find out how Google has just become the internet’s #1 BULLY for enabling outrageous hate speech against Natural News while stripping us of any ability to defend ourselves.
Thank you for your support. We will prevail. The truth will not be silenced and I will not be intimidated into silence. Go to NaturalNews.com each morning and evening by typing it directly into your browser. Stop using Google entirely. Do not trust the internet gatekeepers, as they are deliberately silencing the truth.

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First the Bombshell: Wikileaks Unveils 'Vault 7': "The Largest Ever Publication Of Confidential CIA Documents"; Another Snowden Emerges

You Can Trust The Government
If you had any doubt whatsoever that the US Government is a terrorist organisation, this dhould utterly dispel that fairy tale.
“Year Zero” introduces the scope and direction of the CIA’s global covert hacking program, its malware arsenal and dozens of “zero day” weaponized exploits against a wide range of U.S. and European company products, include Apple’s iPhone, Google’s Android and Microsoft’s Windows and even Samsung TVs, which are turned into covert microphones.
Wikileaks claims that the CIA lost control of the majority of its hacking arsenal including malware, viruses, trojans, weaponized “zero day” exploits, malware remote control systems and associated documentation. This extraordinary collection, which amounts to more than several hundred million lines of code, gives its possessor the entire hacking capacity of the CIA. The archive appears to have been circulated among former U.S. government hackers and contractors in an unauthorized manner, one of whom has provided WikiLeaks with portions of the archive.
By the end of 2016, the CIA’s hacking division, which formally falls under the agency’s Center for Cyber Intelligence (CCI), had over 5000 registered users and had produced more than a thousand hacking systems, trojans, viruses, and other “weaponized” malware. Such is the scale of the CIA’s undertaking that by 2016, its hackers had utilized more code than that used to run Facebook.
The CIA had created, in effect, its “own NSA” with even less accountability and without publicly answering the question as to whether such a massive budgetary spend on duplicating the capacities of a rival agency could be justified.
Once a single cyber ‘weapon’ is ‘loose’ it can spread around the world in seconds, to be used by rival states, cyber mafia and teenage hackers alike.
http://www.ronpaullibertyreport.com/archives/wikileaks-unveils-vault-7-the-largest-ever-publication-of-confidential-cia-documents-another-snowden-emerges